What Can I Do?

As I sit here so behind on posts and pictures lately, I just can't get past the tragedy that occurred 1 week ago today and what each of those families are enduring right now. I feel like I owe it to these lives lost, to listen to their parents talk about them, to learn a little about them - as painful as it is, I just feel like I should? And every story I hear, and face that I see breaks me a little more. There's this combination of helplessness, sadness, and fear that I haven't been able to shake. And my Christmas spirit? Gone.

Even taking Logan to preschool this week was hard. He has been wanting to not go lately and puts up a fight when we get there. He always has a great time once he's there but it's getting him in the door that has been a struggle. This week made it especially difficult not to just say, "Ok, let's go home! You can come with me." But I came to my senses and pushed him to go just as always(not without an extra big hug though).

And I realized something I can do to honor these families.

I can love.

I have never loved on my children or had so much patience as I have this week it seems. I don't think I've raised my voice once, but instead tried to listen to them more and hear every word they have to say. I can keep doing that, or at least work really hard at it.

I can not let this horrible, unthinkable thing define those precious lives, and live mine as best I can for them.

I can be more in the moment with my children, because they are HERE. God knows none of us have a clue what tomorrow will bring, and at the end of the day, I want them to feel how happy they make me.

I can step away from the computer and the emails and bake cookies and play dinosaurs and games instead.

I can savor Christmas with my children because I know that's what those little ones would be doing if they were here. We will celebrate for them, instead of weep for them. It seems like an impossible task, but I will dig deep and find that Christmas spirit somewhere, somehow.

Life is to be lived, and we don't know for how long. So instead of worrying every minute of every day when I send my babies out in the world, I'm going to channel that energy into prayer and trust in God that He's with them.

I'm sure the families of those taken on Friday at Sandy Hook Elementary wish they could have more time with their angels.

So in their loving memory, I will devote more time to mine.

Love harder and stronger than you ever have before, friends. The world needs it more than ever.

Let love win.

HP Christmas Party 2012

The annual HP Christmas Party was a couple weekends ago. We always enjoy going to the Christmas party and seeing everyone all dressed up and kids free for the night. It will be the last Christmas party for us for at least the next few years so it was a little bittersweet.

The kids before heading to their own Christmas party

I look a little crazy in this picture but the rest of my family looks so nice so up it goes :)

Logan's Preschool Pictures

Just a little update on Logan and preschool. We just got his school pictures this past week I can't get over how old he looks. I had his first parent-teacher conference back in early November. I was definitely that proud mamma with the cheesy smile that day as I sat in his meeting with his teacher. She had nothing but good things to say about him. One of the comments she made that especially made me proud was that she called him her "ambassador" because he makes friends so easily and she could count on him to be friends with some the more quiet kids who had a bit harder time.

Weekend with G &G Wright

The week after Thanksgiving, Grandma and Papa Wright came to visit. It rained nearly the entire time they were here which was kind of a bummer but it didn't stop us from doing lots of fun family things. They were even here for Logan's first Christmas program at his preschool.

Grandma Cindy and Logan working on our gingerbread house

The closest thing to a smile I could get

The finished product

Logan's class singing their two songs. I don't think Logan sang a word while being up there as most of the kids didn't either. They were so stinking cute up there and you could definitely tell this was the youngest group.

After the program with Grandma and Papa

After the Christmas program, we headed to the town center near our house to see Santa and enjoy the Christmas music. The boys were so excited to see Santa although it doesn't look like it in the picture. Haha! They would hardly look at him during the picture.

Give Thanks

Our Thanksgiving weekend was simple, just the 4 of us. We made a nice dinner and watched lots of football and movies, went to the park and played outside. Oh and did a little shopping too. We also spent the weekend putting up the Christmas tree (which the boys LOVED doing) and decorating the house for Christmas. My new favorite tradition that we began this year was our "Give Thanks" tree where we wrote down all the things we are thankful for throughout the month of November. Logan really got into it and knew everyday what he was thankful for. He even made sure everyone filled out their leaves daily. :)

Thanksgiving Party

Logan had his Thanksgiving Party at his preschool. Logan LOVES all the parties they get to have. It was fun to actually be able to help at this one. All the parents kind of rotate helping each time.

Saying prayer before snack time. I was obviously distracting him and some of the others just a bit :)

Having their Thansgiving snack

Susan G Koman 3 Day Walk

So way back in the middle of November (yes people I am just a little behind these days :))I did the Susan G Koman 3 Day Walk for Breast Cancer. We walked 60 miles over the course of 3 days and let me tell you, as exhausting as that was, the experience itself completely blew me away. It was such an amazing weekend filled with amazing woman and men, and amazing support for what we were doing. Team Michelle, who is led by none other than my good friend and survivor Michelle, consisted of 35 other women. We were the 2nd largest team there. The walk was in San Diego and the weather couldn't have been better all 3 days. We walked along the ocean for much of the walk. Doesn't get much better than that. Truly an inspiring, humbling, and amazing experience to get to partake in something that is truly helping the world become better. I hope to do this walk again in the future!

Day 1, 6 am, right before we headed out

My good friend and roomie for the weekend, Ashlynn

Ann and Baby Bradley before starting

Opening ceremonies with Michelle on stage as one of the survivors. I don't think there was a dry eye there.

Michelle carrying the Hope Flag leading us out

Ashlynn and I at one of the "Team Michelle" lemonade stands that Damian (Michelle's husband) set up along the way

Our team's Day 1 shirts

First 20 Complete!

These were the tents we all slept in over the 3 days

Day 2 picture stop

Just a few of the hundreds of crazy and awesome supporters that were cheering us on the entire way

Team Michelle, Day 2

A piture with some supportive firemen!

Writing who we were walking for along the way

Some of the awesome bike police who volunteered to be there "getting down" during the lunch break along with our own Amy who decided to join them

Resting up at Day 3's, Team Michelle lemonade stand

At the closing ceremony's . . .Raising our shoes to all the survivors!

And our own personal survivor and Hero, Michelle, with her sister

Jeremy brought the boys down for closing ceremonies. It was definitely an emotion filled day that I will always remember

Zoo!

I love when it is actually cool in the fall here in California. It rarely is but on this day we got lucky and enjoyed a somewhat cool morning at the zoo with the Hattrup clan. We actually saw some animals we typically don't see like the hippo swimming and then getting out of the water, the Polar bear beaing fed, and a real reindeer which Logan thought was pretty cool.

Jordy and Ty watching the elephants

They were holding hands . . .Seriously too cute!

Halloween 2012

So as I stated in my earlier post, I had my camera on some weird setting that made all the pictures black. I didn't realize this until yesterday and so all pictures taken on Halloween did not turn out. However we did go to a "Trunk-or Treat" with some friends a couple nights before so at least I got a few pics with them in their costumes. The boys had a great time!

The captain and his 1st Mate

The boys with their buddy Kenley aka Cinderella :)

I know it doesn't look it but they really did have fun!

Jordy is 2!

Jordy is 2! And a feisty little 2 year old at that! We celebrated our little man on Saturday with a K-State win against Texas Tech putting KSU at #2! Yay! Go Cats and thanks for celebrating my son's Birthday with style! Lol. But for real we had a great party with good food, great friends, lots of play, and good football. Jordy had a wonderful day! Thank you to all our friends who made his day so special!

On his actual birthday before going out for dinner and ride on the carousel and ferris wheel at our local shopping center. (And Mom somehow had the camera on the wrong setting and none of the pics turned out . . .Oops!)

These two are becoming two peas in a pod
Some things he is doing now . . . *He is a DANCING MACHINE! I am pretty sure this is his very favorite thing!
*Talking in short sentences but it is still pretty hard to understand (although I can always understand him)
*Favorite words are NO and Nope!
*Is still very good at play
*Wants to do EVERYTHING by himself these days
*Wears 3T clothes
*Tall and average for height and weight
*Favorite foods are still anything with cheese . . . and apples right now


Jordy's KSU Party!

The day of his party!

Unveiling his present from Mom and Dad . . . A new Kitchen!

He doesn't look it in the picture but he is stoked!

The spread!

Go Cats!

Mom was clearly not the best photographer this day but at least there are pictures. :) Daddy and his little man!

Jordy and Kenley

Maya, Gracie, Logan, and Payton

Not the greatest picture but the best we could do. All the kids patiently waiting for the bounce house to blow up!

Yes there is a bounce house shoved into our jam packed garage and yes there are way too many kids in it! But they had fun!

He loved being sung to and blowing out his candles

Dirt!!! Huge Hit!

I think this was like the only present he actually opened. He was way to distracted by everything to focus on opening. Don't worry we had plenty of other helpers to pitch in! :)